Facets

People are like cut gems in that they have facets.

I've found that spending time with many different people who are not similar to yourself allows you to develop distinct facets of your own character. Some of my friends bring out my silly side. Others cause me to reflect and philosophize. I do many more athletic activities when hanging out with certain people. With others I focus on music, or cooking or books. In any case, I am more likely to be a multifaceted person because of the interactions I have.

I've also learned that I should be careful about the judgments I make. I may think someone is shallow, or dull, or weird, but inevitably once I get to know that person better, I find that I was only seeing one side of them. They have other facets which make their personality rich and varied and interesting, and different than I first thought.

Virtuous Vices? Vicious Virtues?

I've noticed that there are certain character traits that most people would put on the "bad" list, and yet we don't seem to mind owning up to them. (At least, when these traits are part of our own characters. If anybody else displays them, we find it quite annoying.) I'm talking about things like being stubborn. Few would consider "You're so meek!" to be a compliment, but we admit to being stubborn with shamefaced pride. Other traits I would put in this category are independence, and perfectionism. These are things that, I think, society encourages us to develop, but when we become so good at being stubborn, or independent, or perfectionistical (Is that a word? Oh well. If it wasn't before, it is now.) we create major problems for ourselves and those who interact with us. Now that I think about it, the difficulty isn't necessarily that we have these traits, but in the degree to which we act on them. In most cases tenacious=good, but stubborn=bad. Codependent=not so good. Completely independent=not so good either, but interdependence seems like a pretty healthy middle ground. For me perfectionism is one of these vicious virtues. You wouldn't think that my desire to do certain things as perfectly as possible would be a bad thing, but sometimes it becomes a source of guilt and stress. It can even become a paralyzing factor, because if I don't think I will be able to do something perfectly, then I won't even try. I think the first step to take in conquering perfectionism is to recognize it for what it is-a vice rather than a virtue. Striving for excellence is a good thing. When this is taken to extremes and becomes perfectionism, it is not a good thing. But, how do you know when you cross the line between positive striving for excellence, and negative perfectionism? Other things to consider in taming perfectionism are how do you define perfect, and why do it that way? Am I perfect at something if I can do it as well or better than someone else? Am I perfect at something if I receive lots of praise and/or money? Hmm-this topic will require further thought.