I'm Baack!

I haven't posted anything for so long, that the idea of trying to catch up is daunting. We've had a lot of significant things happen in our life. We bought a new house. We are expecting a baby boy at the end of the month. Joel turned two. Brandon spent over a month away from home traveling for business. I'll try to post more details/pictures of these events, but a quick summary will have to do for now.

I Have a Drinking Problem...

I usually buy two gallons of milk at a time - skim for me, and whole for Joel. (Brandon despises milk in any form.) Two gallons seems like a lot of milk for only two people, but we always seem to guzzle it down long before it sours. When I finished my gallon before Joel did, I started drinking his. Now I am addicted to whole milk. Skim just doesn't cut it any more. Even 1% seems too weak. I'm going to have to start drinking less, though, because whole milk has a lot more calories than I am used to ingesting with my breakfast cereal or lunchtime pbj.

If I ask Joel "What does the cow say?" He responds with the cutest soprano "moo" you've ever heard. I can't help but giggle at him.

Man, he is QUICK!

I turned away for only a few seconds. In that time Joel managed to fish two black Sharpies out of Brandon's backpack and go wild with them. He scribbled a dark patch all over the facial features of one of his toy ducks. I guess he decided that the hapless animal needed a mask to hide its secret identity. I was able to clean the marker mask off the long suffering plastic ducky using hairspray. There are only a few faint stains left on Joel's chubby fingers, and his face is mostly clean. I still haven't figured out how to remove the hyroglyphics from the microfiber couch, however.

Facets

People are like cut gems in that they have facets.

I've found that spending time with many different people who are not similar to yourself allows you to develop distinct facets of your own character. Some of my friends bring out my silly side. Others cause me to reflect and philosophize. I do many more athletic activities when hanging out with certain people. With others I focus on music, or cooking or books. In any case, I am more likely to be a multifaceted person because of the interactions I have.

I've also learned that I should be careful about the judgments I make. I may think someone is shallow, or dull, or weird, but inevitably once I get to know that person better, I find that I was only seeing one side of them. They have other facets which make their personality rich and varied and interesting, and different than I first thought.

Kids Make Me Laugh

A couple of days ago Joel was "helping" me clean up after dinner. I was doing the dishes and turned around just in time to watch him do this:He'd climbed onto a chair to be able to reach the table and fished two leftover croutons out of the remains of our Caesar salad. Then he trotted across the kitchen and carefully placed one each in the pre-wash and main-wash compartments of the dishwasher. I don't know why this struck me as so funny, but I couldn't stop giggling.

I changed my name.

Well, not really. I changed the name I use to sign my posts on blogger. The reason I did this is that there are a lot of people named Emily. Did you know that Emily has topped the Social Security Administration's list of most popular baby girl names for twelve years? It was "dethroned" this year by Emma, which I don't think is a true victory, as I believe Emma and Emily are derivations of the same origin name.

I have no problem being called Emily. In fact, I quite like my name. I also don't mind that there are lots of others who share my name. However, when I post on friends' blogs, I often notice comments by several other Emilys. This can get rather confusing, which is why I have decided to change my name to Pemblemily.

Why this strange name, you ask? Well, Pem has been one of my nicknames for many years. It all started with my roommate Alison. I called her Al, then Pal, then Palison. So, she called me Pemily. Eventually we began adding the letter P to the beginning of all our friends names. Rachel became Pachel and Wendy was Pendy and so on. We would all disolve into fits of giggles whenever a name turned out particularly funny sounding. Some of the letter P names soon disappeared, but Pali and Pem endure to this day.

Now, I didn't want to use just Pem as my blog signature, because people who are unaware of the Pem/Pali thing would have no way to connect this handle with me. I lengthened it to Pemblemily because that contains my real name, while still being unique. Also, it makes me laugh.

Another nice feature is that Pemblemily is similar to the name of my blog, Invisiblelephant. Why did I title my blog in this odd way, you ask? Well, it all started ...

Virtuous Vices? Vicious Virtues?

I've noticed that there are certain character traits that most people would put on the "bad" list, and yet we don't seem to mind owning up to them. (At least, when these traits are part of our own characters. If anybody else displays them, we find it quite annoying.) I'm talking about things like being stubborn. Few would consider "You're so meek!" to be a compliment, but we admit to being stubborn with shamefaced pride. Other traits I would put in this category are independence, and perfectionism. These are things that, I think, society encourages us to develop, but when we become so good at being stubborn, or independent, or perfectionistical (Is that a word? Oh well. If it wasn't before, it is now.) we create major problems for ourselves and those who interact with us. Now that I think about it, the difficulty isn't necessarily that we have these traits, but in the degree to which we act on them. In most cases tenacious=good, but stubborn=bad. Codependent=not so good. Completely independent=not so good either, but interdependence seems like a pretty healthy middle ground. For me perfectionism is one of these vicious virtues. You wouldn't think that my desire to do certain things as perfectly as possible would be a bad thing, but sometimes it becomes a source of guilt and stress. It can even become a paralyzing factor, because if I don't think I will be able to do something perfectly, then I won't even try. I think the first step to take in conquering perfectionism is to recognize it for what it is-a vice rather than a virtue. Striving for excellence is a good thing. When this is taken to extremes and becomes perfectionism, it is not a good thing. But, how do you know when you cross the line between positive striving for excellence, and negative perfectionism? Other things to consider in taming perfectionism are how do you define perfect, and why do it that way? Am I perfect at something if I can do it as well or better than someone else? Am I perfect at something if I receive lots of praise and/or money? Hmm-this topic will require further thought.

Wheely Bug

Joel got a Wheely Bug for Christmas. It took him a little while to get the hang of it, but he now spends quite a bit of time zipping around the house on this ingenious contraption. It is a simple, sturdy toy made by a company named Prince Lionheart. One of the best things about it is that the wheels are castors, like you find on office chairs, so the bug can go in any direction. Joel loves his bug, but he is often a little rough on the things he loves. One day, after Joel had picked up the Wheely Bug and dropped it to the floor several times, one of the plastic castors shattered. Tragedy! Joel couldn't understand why I wouldn't let him ride it, but with three wheels and one screw sticking down like a peg leg, I thought it was too dangerous-both for Joel and for my kitchen floor. Imagine my delight when I was able to go online to the manyfacturer's website, and order a replacement wheel for a couple of bucks. Once it came in the mail, I attached it myself, and now we're back in Wheely Bug business.

Yummy

A few days ago Joel was playing upstairs. Things became too quiet, if you know what I mean, so I went to investigate. Joel was in the spare bedroom with the door closed. Somewhere he'd found a tube of lipstick, and was happily eating it. (It was my favorite one, too!) There was lipstick on Joel's face and down his shirt. He'd smeared some on the walls, and the bedspread. There were lipstick handprints all over the couch cover. I had to laugh even though I wanted to paddle his bum. Anyone know how to remove lipstick stains?

Valuables

We have a quilt on our bed which was crafted for us by members of Brandon's family. The idea for making it originally came from Grandma Sanderson. She bought some fabric for this quilt as a wedding gift when Brandon and I were married in 2006, and Jane and Lauren agreed to make the patches. However, life got busy, and after a bit was completed, the project was put aside. A few months ago Aunt Bonnie decided it was time to finish it.

When Bonnie takes on a project, it gets done! Brandon's mom added more fabric to complement that chosen by Grandma Sanderson three years ago. The girls completed the embroidery and applique on the patches. Bonnie pieced the top together, and Grandma Call did most of the stitching, though everyone helped a little. The result is absolutely beautiful.

When the quilt was finished, they took it to show to Grandma Sanderson, who hadn't been able to help because of her failing health. She passed away on March 9th at the age of 91. We were all glad that she was able to see the wonderful outcome of her idea.

I treasure this quilt. Not only is it beautifully made and suited to our quirky tastes, (my photos don't do it justice) but it represents the gift of time and talent from six incredible women. I love that this is a remembrance of Grandma Sanderson, who is no longer with us. I love the tiny, even stitches of Grandma Call, who is herself in her 90's, and may not be with us much longer either.

I almost want to put the quilt away where it will not be used in order to keep it from being dirtied or damaged in any way. I decided I'm not going to do this, though, because I feel a twinge of happiness every time I walk past my bed and see this quilt spread there. I feel comfort beyond mere physical warmth any time I snuggle underneath it. I count this quilt among the most valuable things we have. Why is it that some things decrease in value if they are used, but others just get more and more valuable?





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Jekyll and Hyde

Lately my pleasant and happy sixteen-month-old has had an increasing number of monster moments. Is this the beginning of the terrible twos? He will be perfectly happy, and then the smallest thing seems to cause a shrieking crying fit. For example, this afternoon when we went outside Joel threw a tantrum because he didn't want me to put mittens on him. Then he cried because his hands were cold and wet. Joel bawled after slipping on some ice and falling down. He wailed and swatted my hands away when I tried to help him back up. (He wasn't hurt at all, being well padded by his snowgear, and seeing as he is short enough that it wasn't a long fall to the ground.) He screamed when I insisted on holding his hand while crossing the street. Finally I picked Joel up and marched back inside. It was NOT a fun outing.

Ouch!

Yesterday I went to the dentist. Well, technically the endodontist. He made an incision in my gum tissue, drilled two holes in my jaw bone, and pulled out the infected roots of the tooth that have been causing me such pain for months. Luckily, he gave me several shots of numbing stuff first! I couldn't feel any pain, although it was still not a pleasant process. After taking care of the infection, he cleaned out the root canals, filled them with stuff, and sewed me back up. I now have a swollen jaw, and a supply of Lortab to keep me from feeling too much pain because the numbing stuff wore off long ago. The good news is, I get to do the whole thing again in two weeks on another tooth. :(

100 Things

I swiped this list from a friend's blog. It was interesting to see how many of the things on the list I have or have not done, and which of them were memorable experiences.

* 1. Started your own blog- Check.

* 2. Slept under the stars- Many times. I love this.

* 3. Played in a band- Yes. I played flute in the band from 7th grade until my junior year of college.

* 4. Visited Hawaii- Twice.

* 5. Watched a meteor shower

* 6. Given more than you can afford to charity- Yes. It was satisfying.

* 7. Been to Disneyland- So many times I’ve lost count!

* 8. Climbed a mountain- all the way to the top? I guess it depends on what you’d call a mountain. I’ve climbed Nellie’s Mountain at the Ranch many times. I want to climb Timp some day.

* 9. Held a praying mantis- Yes. They are light and scratchy.

* 10. Sang a solo- Yes. I sang “When You Say Nothing At All” accompanied by my dad’s band for a family reunion.

* 11. Bungee jumped

* 12. Visited Paris- Yes, for a week.

* 13. Watched a lightning storm at sea

* 14. Taught yourself an art from scratch

* 15. Adopted a child

* 16. Had food poisoning- Several times, unfortunately. It was a fairly regular happening on my mission. The last time was when Brandon and I were engaged. I got sick after eating tomato soup at Jason’s Deli.

* 17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty

* 18. Grown your own vegetables- We almost always had a garden while I was growing up. One summer Dad let Rachel and I plant the entire plot with tomatoes and sell them to buy school clothes. We had to water and weed and fertilize and pick and sell them all by ourselves. We got so tired of killing those big fat caterpillars that seem to love tomato plants.

* 19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France-Yes. I was surprised by how small it really is.

* 20. Slept on an overnight train- Only on a bus.

* 21. Had a pillow fight- It seems to occur fairly often at our house.

* 22. Hitch hiked- when I was a missionary in Bolivia.

* 23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill- Well, I'd call it a "personal day".

* 24. Built a snow fort- Oh yeah! You’ve got to love those big mounds of snow that accumulate after the snow plow goes by, and then your dad clears out the driveway. Perfect for hollowing out and making snow forts.

* 25. Held a lamb

* 26. Gone skinny dipping- Yes. That’s all I’ll say about that.

* 27. Run a Marathon- I ran the Top of Utah Marathon in Logan in 2002. It was a very cool experience.

* 28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice

* 29. Seen a total eclipse

* 30. Watched a sunrise or sunset- I try to see as many as I can.

* 31. Hit a home run

* 32. Been on a cruise- I went on a cruise with my friends before I was married. Later Brandon and I went on one for our honeymoon.

* 33. Seen Niagara Falls in person

* 34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors

* 35. Seen an Amish community

* 36. Taught yourself a new language- I learned Spanish, though I can't take all the credit.

* 37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied- Does money ever bring satisfaction?

* 38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person

* 39. Gone rock climbing- Only at the Quarry.

* 40. Seen Michelangelo’s David- Only in a book.

* 41. Sung karaoke- Several times. It is fun. Once I even sang in Spanish.

* 42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt- Yep.

* 43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant

* 44. Visited Africa

* 45. Walked on a beach by moonlight- Yes. Carlsbad State Park in California.

* 46. Been transported in an ambulance

* 47. Had your portrait painted

* 48. Gone deep sea fishing

* 49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person

* 50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris- Yes. I went on Study Abroad to London in 1995. We spent a week in France. We went to the top of the Eiffel Tower at evening time in order to see the city lights, and our little BYU group was a bit scandalized by all the couples making out in the shadows. Apparently, the top of the Eiffel Tower is a popular place to kiss.

* 51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling- I’ve been snorkeling several times.

* 52. Kissed in the rain- Yes.

* 53. Played in the mud- Yes.

* 54. Gone to a drive-in theater- A couple of times.

* 55. Been in a movie

* 56. Visited the Great Wall of China

* 57. Started a business-Yes.

* 58. Taken a martial arts class

* 59. Visited Russia

* 60. Served at a soup kitchen- Once on a date. It was a cool experience.

* 61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies

* 62. Gone whale watching

* 63. Got flowers for no reason- I’ve bought flowers for myself for no reason before. Brandon gives me flowers, but usually for a reason.

* 64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma- only blood, and only once, and it was a long time ago.

* 65. Gone sky diving

* 66. Visited a Nazi concentration camp

* 67. Bounced a check- More than once, unfortunately. I’ve learned to be more careful, however.

* 68. Flown in a helicopter-Yes. We went on a helicopter tour when Mom, Dad, Ray and I went to Hawaii. I got a little sick from the motion.

* 69. Saved a favorite childhood toy- I still have Oot, my Raggedy Ann and Raggedy Andy, and Wally the bear. They are in a box in the basement.

* 70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial- Yes. There is a sort of reverence about the place.

* 71. Eaten Caviar- I can’t remember why, but my 8th grade History teacher brought in caviar for us to try. It was salty. I like the little tiny fish eggs that they put on sushi rolls.

* 72. Pieced a quilt- Sort of. When I was in High School I made a crazy patchwork lapquilt out of odds and ends. I sewed the patches together, but then tied the quilt rather than stitching it.

* 73. Stood in Times Square

* 74. Toured the Everglades

* 75. Been fired from a job

* 76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London-No! I spent an entire Summer term there on Study Abroad and never made it to Buckinham Palace.

* 77. Broken a bone- Never. I sprained my ankle very badly, however. I tripped in a hole in our yard. I was 19.

* 78. Been on a speeding motorcycle- A couple of times, and always holding tightly to the boy who was driving, not driving myself.

* 79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person- No. Hard to believe when I live fairly close to it, I know.

* 80. Published a book

* 81. Bought a brand new car- The first and only car I’ve owned myself is named Ruby. She is a ’99 Chevy Lumina, and I bought her in 2000. She’s a bit shabby, but still running well!

* 82. Walked in Jerusalem- Someday I hope to.

* 83. Had your picture in the newspaper

* 84. Read the entire Bible- When we studied the Bible in seminary, we were only required to read certain chapters, but I was an over achiever and read straight through. After reading certain parts of the Old Testament, I understood why the Seminary program recommended only the “good parts” version.

* 85. Killed and prepared an animal for eating- A fish. My bro-in-law Peter caught it, but he let me gut it because I’d never done it before and wanted to try. It was squishy.

* 86. Had chickenpox- I caught a pretty bad case because I was a little older-10 or 11 I think. It was during the summer, so the heat made me even itchier.

* 87. Saved someone’s life- Not that I know of.

* 88. Met someone famous- Does my husband count? I saw actor Bill Patton at a play in London when I was on study abroad. I’ve met Patricia C. Wrede, Michelle West, Lloyd Alexander, Gail Carson Levine, and lots of other authors.

* 89. Joined a book club- almost two years ago. My former roommates and I choose a list of books to read, then get together once a month to discuss them. (Of course, we do a lot of eating and visiting too.)

* 90. Lost a loved one- both paternal grandparents. My grandma died while I was on my mission. When I visited her just before I left, I had a feeling it would be the last time I would see her, but it was still a shock to me when I found out she’d passed away.

* 91. Had a baby- Yes, and he’s very cute!

* 92. Seen the Alamo in person

* 93. Swam in the Great Salt Lake-I think I dipped my toes in it when we went to visit Antelope Island. I don’t remember for sure.

* 94. Been involved in a law suit

* 95. Owned a cell phone- I’m on number 3 now.

* 96. Been stung by a bee- a couple of times. The one I remember most happened at school when I was in Kindergarten. My teacher took me in to the nurse, but the nurse wasn’t around at the time, so the Principal took care of me. He was such a wonderful, kind man.

* 97. Seen Mount Rushmore in person

* 98. Learned to play an instrument- piano, flute, guitar

* 99. Sat on jury duty

* 100. Had a pet rat-only a gross looking rubber rat that a coworker gave me at Halloween years ago. I still have it, and each year when I get out the Halloween decorations, this rat ends up in places like the shower, my bed, the fridge or other startling locations.

Blueberry Boy

I don't think the photo does it full justice, but I took this picture because Joel's face looked tie-dyed, like his shirt. He'd been eating blueberries. The tie-dyed onesie was a Christmas gift from Auntie Jane and Auntie Lauren. They bought tie dye kits to make hoodies for themselves, and decided to also create a signature item for their favorite Joelbaby.

Accomplished Women

A friend of mine was talking about a sewing project she'd completed. She said that one of the things she enjoyed most about it was the feeling of being "domestic" and that it was like sneaking into a secret club that she doesn't really belong to but almost feels a part of. I was confused. From the outside looking in this woman seems like the perfect candidate for the domestic goddess club! So, if she isn’t in the secret club, who is? Maybe nobody. I think at times I look at others around me and assume they are all part of the secret club for which I am not qualified.

This made me think about the expectations that we women have about ourselves, especially we Mormon women. It seems the ideal Mormon Mommy has to have an advanced degree, a successful career, an immaculate home, a fashionable, yet tasteful and flattering wardrobe, well behaved and nicely groomed children. She must do yoga and scrapbook and bake and blog. She must have an organized and well labeled food storage, cook nutritious meals all from scratch, grow a garden, hold a book group, and work with the PTA. She must magnify her calling, support her husband, and care for her children, all while being an independent and well informed member of society. AND she better like it! I think of what Elizabeth Bennet said to Mr. Darcy in Pride and Prejudice when he was enumerating what he required of any he could call an accomplished woman. "I'm no longer surprised at you knowing only six accomplished women. I rather wonder at your knowing any."

I think I’ve been unconsciously feeling like I had to live up to the standards of the “secret club” now that I’m a stay at home mom, but after observing others around me, I realize that there IS no club. Some women are good at housework. It is important to them, and so they work on having an immaculate house. Others may enjoy sewing. Some are good at baking. Some have a talent for nurturing children. Some really focus on their careers. Some love to spend time playing sports or working out. A few may excel at several of these accomplishments, but nobody does them all-especially not all the time. There are times and seasons for different focuses, just like there are different talents and interests to focus upon.

Snow Clothes

Just in case readers of my previous post were worried, Joel is now quite well prepared for snow and cold.

Movies I watched in 2009

We got a three month Netflix subscription from Brandon's family for Christmas. It has been fun to go on the site and choose movies we want to see, then have them show up in the mail. So far this year we've watched:

Miss Potter - Well made, very fun to watch.
Better Off Dead - I'd never seen it. WEIRD but amusing. It was one of Brandon's faves as a teen.
Rocky - Brandon had never seen it. We both enjoyed it, although the 70's music made us laugh.
27 Dresses - It was okay. I watched this by myself...not that Brandon won't watch chick flicks with me, but he wasn't home when I used it as motivation to fold the laundry.
The Golden Compass - We found it boring and turned it off.
Hoosiers-okay. We're not that into sports flicks
Juno-Thought provoking and well done.
A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum-Comedy tonight!
Spanglish-Interesting, but more objectionable content than I remembered
Cold Comfort Farm-Hilarious and delightful
Supersize Me-Gross in a fascinating kind of way
Up!-Sweet and very fun. (theater)
Star Trek-Awesome! (theater)

Books I Read In 2009

Once I figure out how to do it, I plan to put a link to Goodreads on the front page of my blog so I can keep track of what I've read. Until then, this will have to do. It's always interesting to me to know what kinds of books people choose to read. You can tell a lot about someone by their reading habits, I think. I wonder what my reading list of the year will say about me?

Small Gods by Terry Pratchet
The 13th Reality by James Dashner
Wintersmith by Terry Pratchet
In Defense of Food by Michael Pollen
Full of Holes by Daniel A Wells (unpublished)
It's A Mall World After All by Janette Rallison
The Glass Castle by Janette Wall
The Housewife and the Moviestar by Sannon Hale (Advanced Reading Copy)
The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell
The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman
Extras by Scott Westerfield
Wings by Aprilynne Pike

Pomegranates

I've bought several pomegranates recently.


I was researching online to find the best way to open them, (because I'm nerdy like that-I always look for information about everything) and I learned loads of interesting facts. First, I learned that the best way to get the fruit from a pomegranate is to score the peel with a knife, then open it under water. The red parts, called arils, sink to the bottom, and the white membrane floats. I filled the sink with water, then put a colander in it, and peeled the pomegranate there. It worked out quite well.

Did you know that the word grenade came from the French word for pomegranate? Relics of this fruit have been found in Jericho and dated Early Bronze Age, which is about 3300-2000 BC. Pomegranates show up quite frequently in multiple religions and the mythology of various cultures. (I was only familiar with the Persephone story.) Eating the fruit gives many health benefits. (BTW, I didn't get ALL of that from Wikipedia. I used multiple sources, like a good little researcher.)


I think pomegranates are beautiful-a multifaceted orb made of tiny jewel-like bits that burst tartly sweet juice into my mouth. They're worth the trouble it takes to prepare them in my opinion. Too bad their season is so short.

2008 in Review

Joel in January

Joel in December

What we accomplished...

Joel:
crawling
standing
cruising
walking
4 haircuts
5 sizes of clothing
8 teeth

Brandon:
5 conventions
18 presentations
24 school visits
37 book signings
60 days of business travel
500,000 words written

Me:
3 professional pedicures enjoyed
17 batches of cookies made (and eaten)
37 books read
152 loads of laundry washed, dried and put away
400 hours spent breastfeeding
1095 diapers changed

Numbers are interesting, but experiences make memories. A few events from 2008 stand out in my mind. Attending the wedding of my friend Rachel was a highlight in June. My trip to the emergency room in July was something I'll never forget. I have some great memories from the reunions and family gatherings that we attended over the year. Going to the Shakespearean Festival in July was very fun. Leaving Joel with Brandon's mom for 10 days while the two of us went to Denver for WorldCon was a little traumatic at first, but also memorable. I really appreciated going to my book group each month. In 2008 Brandon made the New York Times Bestseller list. There are also myriads of experiences that happen too many times to count over the course of a year, but that make my life good-things like chatting on the phone with my sisters, sharing jokes with my husband, playing with my baby boy, having "deep philosophical discussions" with friends, getting a good workout, quiet contemplation, talking to God, and feeling that He listens.